Flip Side of the Grammar Debate

Snoopy knows everything.

“I’m a grammar nazi!” I know you’ve all seen this statement, maybe even made it and I know it’s made in jest but I want to have a look at the hurtful side of posts and comments that rant on about Grammar. I read seven alone this day, I lost count of them over the last month. I have  refused comments made on my blog recently that points out grammar mistakes in a very nasty way so after finding another this morning, I may be feeling aggressive.  Back out now slowly and don’t make any loud noises.

I have  a patient, we shall call her Ethel, because that’s her name. Ethel had a stroke five years ago and her memory, reasoning and language skills were diminished. Ethel has worked hard to learn to write again because it’s something she loved very much. I said to Ethel a few months ago “Why don’t you start a blog, Ethel. People in your situation would learn so much from what you’ve achieved.”

“No. I couldn’t do that,” was Ethel’s reply.” I can’t remember where all the dots and dashes go anymore and people would be horrified.”

Ethel was referring to grammar.  Everything Ethel had learned in school about grammar was lost and because her short-term memory is haphazard, she finds it difficult to write to the standard of what we perceive as well.

If Ethel were to write and send it out into the ether, I realised, she would be a victim of the Grammar Nazis’ and I thought this a great shame. It’s been on my mind ever since.

In my working day I’m a neurologist. I have patients from all walks of life,  from every end of the socio-economic community, every level of education. No matter where they come from, I see interesting grammar from every point on the scale. This language we call English is fascinating and challenging, no matter what your post code or Alma mater.

Language is not my natural talent, I get it wrong often. I’m actually dyslexic but I have overcome that for the most part.  Mathematics is my language. I think it, I even dream it. If you all wrote in mathematics, I’d be a happy girl.  But English is the language of expression and it is the one I must use. It’s the one those of us with dyslexia must use, it’s the one Ethel and ever person who has suffered a loss to their language centre must use.  Language unlike maths, isn’t perfect.  Being Scottish, I write a slightly different one to you in the US. That’s not so with Maths; we work the same way.

But let me put this to you.  If maths is not your talent, are you belittled for it? It’s not intellectual laziness. Your brain is not wired for complex mathematics. Mine is. Your brain may be wired for language. Mine isn’t. You can turn out a bit of syntax. Congratulations. I shall refrain from demeaning your mathematical abilities if you refrain from demeaning my language skills. It has absolutely nothing to do with the writers self-respect. If you are not aware of the education and  life experiences of the writer, don’t criticise. If it offends you to read a post that has misused an apostrophe, then for all that is good and holy, don’t enter here. You will be offended on a grand scale.

If language isn’t your talent, if grammar was as difficult for you at school as calculus is for some, what are you to do about it?  Struggle through is an option, not everyone had a good experience at school, particularly those with a learning disability. Heaven forbid you should write a blog and offend anyone with your grammar.   Don’t be embarrassed  by it, I say.  Write, write, write if that is what you want to do and never, I say never, worry yourself about the Oxford comma.  Do not have one sleepless night about it. If this is you, if you relate to this, you are not unintelligent in any way.  Practice makes perfect they say, or at least better I believe. I tell my patients to write. Keep writing, it’s the only thing that will really help. The same advice was given to me in primary school ( Elementary.) If you write, you’ll get better at it, Kate,  and I did. I give this advice to you if you struggle with grammar.  Keeping doing it. If, like me, you want to send things off to publishers, there are fantastic people who are talented at language who can help you.

Language is a delightfully nebulous thing. It grows and changes and evolves like the very humans who use it. Your stories, made up of words, made up of letters, are complex but are not mechanical. My ideas are more than my dashes.  There is so much negativity,  online more so, and I genuinely do not think we need to criticise another, whether they know better or not. Some of the posts and comments that I’ve read in the last week pertaining to grammar have been rather mean. Some in the style of humour but still mean. There have words like “stupid,” phrases like “Did you fall asleep when they taught contractions,” lines like “There should be a test before starting a blog.”  It’s made me rather sad to think the blogging  community is intolerant. Reading the comments to these posts was like walking in on the mean girls  in the bathroom at school. ( Why did they all hang out in the bathroom?) Words like imbeciles and morons were tossed in and encouraged.

I’m really interested in what you think about this. Do you call yourself a grammar nazi? Do you think differently of a blogger if you spot a bit of grammar gone astray? If a blogger struggles with the use of grammar, are you turned off it?

( Rant away if you like, but I will rant back )